Valentine's Day FAIL

I don't recommend doing this for your sweetheart tomorrow.

Just a hunch, but I'm guessing you would not be happy with her reaction.

A New Angle for Birthers

I thought of a new conspiracy angle for all the Birthers out there to try to make themselves appear less obsessive.  Essentially, it involves arguing that Barack Obama is not a natural born citizen because he was delivered via Caesarean section, or because his mother was given an epidural.  Sure, it's a ridiculous argument that would probably disqualify half of America, but it sounds a little less crazy than the pre-natal globe-trotting versions they use now.

In the end, it's basically just a way for them to earn re-entry into polite society by being thought of as something less than batshit crazy.  This way, they'd be viewed as little more than annoying lawyers.  And judging by the proliferation of legal-themed TV shows, everyone loves annoying lawyers.

France Surrenders

French workers find an undetonated bomb from WWII outside Paris, and promptly surrender.

On the bright side, French waiters now speak perfect English and have stopped spitting in tourists' food.